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A Christmas Story
A Christmas Story is a 1983 American Christmas comedy film directed by Bob Clark and based on Jean Shepherd's semi-fictional anecdotes in his 1966 book In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash, with some elements from his 1971 book Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters. It stars Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, and Peter Billingsley. A seasonal classic in North America, it is shown numerous times on television, usually on the networks owned by WarnerMedia. Since 1997, a marathon of the film titled "24 Hours Of A Christmas Story" has aired annually on TNT or TBS, comprising 12 consecutive airings of the film on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day each year. It is often ranked as one of the best Christmas films. The film was released on November 18, 1983, a week before Thanksgiving, to moderate success, earning about $2 million in its first weekend, and earning two Canadian Genie Awards in 1984. In 2012, it was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." About it Ralphie Parker, narrating off-screen as an adult, looks back on one particular Christmas when he was nine years old in the amorphously late-1930s, early-1940s, when he wanted only one thing for that Christmas: his dream present of a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle with a compass and a sundial in the stock. Ralphie's mother is firmly against it, warning him that "you'll shoot your eye out." The phrase haunts him at every turn: during a homework assignment, he writes about his desire for the gun and does all he can to impress Miss Shields, his teacher at Warren G. Harding Elementary School, with the essay but instead gets a C+ with the same warning. In desperation, Ralphie goes to Santa Claus at Higbee's, a local department store; after a lengthy wait, and dealing with the rude and pushy elf assistants, Ralphie initially freezes when he sees Santa agreeing to Santa's suggestion of a football, then Ralphie is shoved down a long exit slide, but at the last second, he stops himself, climbs back up, and excitedly rattles off his wish, only for Santa to brush it off with the same warning as his mother and his teacher, before pushing Ralphie down the slide with his boot. Christmas morning arrives and the Parkers dive into their presents. Ralphie receives some presents he enjoys but is disappointed that he did not receive the gun; his father points to one last hidden present. Ralphie opens it to reveal the Red Ryder gun he wanted, to his joy and his mother's dismay. The Old Man sheepishly explains that he himself had one when he was Ralphie's age. Ralphie takes the gun outside and fires it at a paper target perched on a metal sign in the backyard. However, the BB ricochets back at Ralphie, ends up hitting his cheek, and knocks his glasses off, sending them flying and knocking out a lens. While searching for them, thinking he has indeed shot his eye out, Ralphie accidentally steps on his glasses and breaks them, which crushes the other side. He lies to his mother that a falling icicle broke his glasses, and she believes him, thanks in part to Ralphie's realistic sobbing. That night, as Ralphie clings to his gun while he sleeps, the adult Ralphie narrates that it was the greatest gift he had ever received or ever would receive. Interspersed with the main story are several loosely related vignettes involving the Parkers: Several fantasy sequences depict Ralphie's daydreams of glory and vindication, including the vanquishing of a small army of villains dressed in stereotypical burglar costumes of flat caps, black masks, and striped shirts with his Red Ryder BB gun and obtaining his parents' gratitude, receiving an extremely good grade for his written theme about the BB gun, and melodramatically imagines parental remorse over a case of going blind from soap poisoning. The Old Man wins a "major award" when he enters a trivia contest out of the newspaper, which asked for the name of The Lone Ranger's nephew's horse, thanks to his wife, who supplied the answer: Victor. A large crate marked "FRAGILE" arrives and he remarks, "Fra-JEE-lay! Must be Italian!" Inside is a reading lamp in the shape of a woman's leg wearing a fishnet stocking. The leg is the logo of the contest's sponsor, the Nehi Bottling Company. The Old Man is overjoyed but Mrs. Parker does not see its charm. "The Battle Of The Lamp" develops, ending with Mrs. Parker "accidentally" destroying it, much to The Old Man's fury. His attempts to repair it prove futile, and he defeatedly buries the remains in the back yard. Adult Ralphie would claim he heard Taps playing softly afterwards. The Old Man also fights a never-ending battle with the malfunctioning furnace in the Parker home. His frustrations cause him to swear quite often, including one profanity-laden rant that the adult Ralphie says "is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan." Still another source of frustration for The Old Man is the dogs that belong to the Bumpus Family, the hillbilly neighbors that live next door. The Bumpuses own at least 785 hound dogs that harass The Old Man whenever he comes home from work. On Christmas Day, the dogs ruin the family's dinner by romping through their kitchen and eating their turkey. This results in the family having an entertaining Christmas dinner of Peking duck, which adult Ralphie calls "Chinese turkey", at a Chinese restaurant called "Bo Ling, Chop Suey Palace Co." instead. The employees sing "Deck The Halls" and "Jingle Bells" with a stereotyped Asian accent where the English "L" is articulated incorrectly by singing "Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra. Tis the season to be jorry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra." and "Jingre berrs, jingre berrs, jingre arr the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sreigh!" Ralphie and his friends Flick and Schwartz are tormented by the local neighborhood bully Scut Farkus and his sidekick Grover Dill. Ralphie is hit in the face with a snowball thrown by the bullies, and he begins to cry and Scut teases and taunts him until he eventually snaps and beats up Scut by glaring at him, charging, and beginning to pummel him. During the fight, Ralphie shouts profanity non-stop as he lands blow after blow to the squealing Scut, and when Grover attempts to intervene, Ralphie pushes him away and continues beating Scut at will. Randy, Ralphie's younger brother, gets their mother. Mrs. Parker catches him mid-fight and pulls her son off the bully and takes him home. Ralphie expects her to tell The Old Man, which she only briefly mentions, but makes light of it, changing the subject to football, with an upcoming Chicago Bears game where they are playing the Green Bay Packers on Sunday. Flick and Schwartz argue over whether a person's tongue will stick to a frozen flagpole. Flick says, "Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!", while Schwartz replies with, "That's 'cause you know it'll stick!" The next day, Schwartz tells Flick, "Hey, smart guy. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya." Flick just ignores Schwartz and says, "Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything?" Schwartz explains to Flick, "He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off." Flick gives the answer of, "You're full of it!", and Schwartz asks, "Oh yeah?" To which Flick exclaims, "Yeah!", and Schwartz responds with "Well, I double-DOG-dare ya! I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!" Flick accepts the ultimate issue of the "triple dog dare" from Schwartz to stick his tongue onto the school flagpole. His tongue gets stuck as it freezes onto the pole, much to his terror, requiring assistance from the police and fire department to free him. Although, Miss Shields, to some extent, knows how it happened, nobody confesses, or blames anyone, and the incident is dropped without any further mention. A "triple dare" is the most serious of those used by the kids; bypassing a "double dog dare", a serious boyhood protocol breach. It is a slight breach of etiquette if one skips the triple dare and goes right for the throat! After getting a Christmas tree, while attempting to help fix a flat tire on the ride home, his father knocks a hubcap from his hands, spilling its contents, the lug nuts from a flat tire. Ralphie utters "The Word, The Big One, The Queen Mother Of Dirty Words, The F-Dash-Dash-Dash Word" and when they do get home, his mother washes his mouth out with Lifebuoy soap. Ralphie, in an act of what he later describes as "inexorable official justice" for the flagpole incident, falsely blames Schwartz for teaching him the word, when in fact he had heard it repeatedly from The Old Man. Ralphie's mom informs Schwartz's mom over the phone, who in turn loudly shrieks and punishes Schwartz immediately. Ralphie, a fan of the radio program Little Orphan Annie, eagerly awaits the arrival of an Orphan Annie Secret Society decoder pin he has applied to receive, after drinking gallons of Ovaltine. It is a small round brass metal pin with an eagle, shield, and American flag on the front, with 1940, two crossed skeleton keys, "Radio Orphan Annie’s Secret Society", and an individualized unique serial number on the back, and numbers and letters on the edge of the wheel, the numbers in order are 12 11 2 3 25 11 4 24 16 25 18 23 21 6 24 3 25 24 5 9 19 4 18 23 11, and the letters in order are QSUTVYZXACEBGHFDJILMKWNORP. When it comes in the mail, he uses it to decode a secret message ("Be Sure To Drink Your Ovaltine") at the end of the day's broadcast. However, he learns a lesson about being ripped off and is disappointed to find it is only an advertisement/promotional message for the show's sponsor. Much to his dismay, Ralphie mutters, "A crummy commercial?" Randy refuses to eat a meal on his own, so Mrs. Parker is relying on trickery by asking him how pigs eat to get him to eat something. Dressing up for school in the cold weather, Randy must wear so many layers that he can't put his arms down! Among Ralphie's presents, there are some he dislikes, particularly an embarrassing pink bunny suit from his overbearing Aunt Clara, which his mother finds adorable, but The Old Man agrees is repulsive. Cast of characters Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker - the film's protagonist, a nine-year-old imaginative dreamer. Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie/the narrator (also has an on-screen cameo as the man who directed Ralphie and Randy to the back of the Santa line). Ian Petrella as Randy Parker - Ralphie's younger brother, who hasn't voluntarially eaten in over three years. Darren McGavin as Mr. Parker (The Old Man) - Ralphie's father, who is at the center of the Major Award vignette, and is depicted using colorful nonsensical invective. The shooting script for the film reveals that The Old Man's first name is Frank. Melinda Dillon as Mrs. Parker - Ralphie's mother, who is the primary dispenser of the oft-repeated phrase, "You'll shoot your eye out." Her first name is never revealed either. Scott Schwartz as Flick - Ralphie's friend, who learns about tongues and cold metal the hard way. R.D. Robb as Schwartz - Ralphie's other friend, on whom Ralphie pins the blame for his knowing "the F word". Zack Ward as Scut Farkus - the neighborhood bully, who torments Ralphie and his friends en route to and from school. Yano Anaya as Grover Dill - Scut's sidekick, who is promoted to main bully in "My Summer Story." Tedde Moore as Miss Shields - Ralphie's fourth grade teacher, the only onscreen character played by the same actress in the sequel, "My Summer Story." Jeff Gillen as Santa Claus - the rather frightening and cranky department store incarnation of "the Head Honcho," who delivers the last blow to Ralphie's hope for a BB gun. David Svoboda as Botox Boy - weird little boy in line waiting to see Santa Claus, wearing aviation goggles. Drew Hocevar as one of the two Christmas elfs - He is the one paired with the department store Santa. Trivia Category:Movies